Is it a trick? A puzzle?

Many people see it that way; the challenge of figuring it out and catching the Magician. Some even want to see me fail. Mostly I believe people want to see me succeed because they want the experience. 

But what is that experience? 

Movies and theater are magical; novels, paintings, music, all magical. Although they have the ability to transport us to another place you can also see the craft in them. You know your favorite actor did not really die in the movie. She is crafting an illusion. You know that Superman doesn’t really fly. It’s CGI. It’s crafted to feel like these things happened. 

That crafting helps you get lost in the journey and in that moment you’re on the ride and it doesn’t really matter that someone might be stealing your car at that moment.

For magic to work, the “secret” must not only be kept hidden -- it must not even be suspected. Because the moment you even suspect a sneaky move…POP! The bubble bursts and there’s no magical experience. No mystery. You are thrown out of the experience and you’ll never reach your destination.

This is a challenge I accept.

I remember doing magic when I was young. We would visit family for Sunday dinners or a holiday and I always brought something along to perform. I did that a lot.

Eventually I started doing children’s parties and while that was enjoyable and there was a lot to learn, it really wasn’t where my heart was. I was always interested in doing close-up magic.

I was fascinated with sleight-of-hand and I knew my audience was going to be in the corporate world and events with adult audiences. So I started to think more about that.

What I kept bumping into was how to make the leap from doing children’s parties to the corporate market. But the question was bigger than “how do I do more corporate events?” The question was really “who do I need to be to get those gigs?” 

That’s where I lived for a time and it was okay. But now I find the question has changed again. 

Now it’s about BEING A MAGICIAN. “Who do I need to be so that an experience of wonder just seems to happen around me?”

And that’s much bigger than doing tricks. 

Inevitably a guest will exclaim, “My kid would love this!”

When I ask how old their child is, the answer is usually six or seven. 

Never mind that I’m appearing at a corporate event or social function in a sharp suit and engaging with challenging close-up magic or reading minds from the stage. It still happens.

Don’t mistake this for complaining. I’ve been passionate about magic since I was 10 years old and I’m grateful to have it as my profession for over 25 years.

I’m just wonder why.

My kids live in a world of wonder and joy. Everything they experience is magical. But eventually society will tell them it’s time to put childlike things away and grow up. Sadly, magic will be added to that box and buried in the backyard. 

“So remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and hold on to that childlike sense of wonder about what makes the universe exist.”

— Stephen Hawking

We grown-ups need magic now more than ever. That’s why we go to the theater, visit the museum, read a novel, or listen to music. These things pull us out of our daily grind. That’s the power of magic; it puts us face-to-face with a mystery. 

If only for a few moments and even if it’s a simple, well-executed card trick.

I was born and raised in the small community of Malba, which was nestled in the shadow of the Whitestone Bridge, in Queens, NY. My parents had businesses in Astoria, where I also lived for the last 10 years of my time in NYC.

To get to “work” we travelled via the Whitestone Expressway to the Grand Central Parkway which took us right past Shea Stadium. (It will always be “Shea” to me!) Shea was my part of culture and right in my backyard and the view never got old.

When The Rolling Stones announced their Steel Wheels Tour would bring them to Shea, it was a no brainer. We had great seats and it was…well, it was The Stones, man! What else is there to say?

“I wanted to play drums because I fell in love with the glitter and the lights, but it wasn’t about adulation. It was being up there playing.”

— Charlie Watts

I always looked at successful people as having some untouchable quality or they have some immense talent — I’m not fond of that word, but for now it’ll work — that few others possess that makes them. They are “other than” me.

In his book, The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles, Steven Pressfield says: “The professional has learned that success, like happiness, comes as a by-product of work. The professional concentrates on the work and allows rewards to come or not come, whatever they like.”

Yes, I do work at my business. But I’m a Magician and my job is to play. Success comes or it doesn’t.

Charlies explains it far more eloquently here.

Thanks, Charlie.

Wanted to share some exciting news...

Last night, after 15 months of virtual performances, I had my FIRST IN-PERSON EVENT! An intimate company team building dinner at Taplin Cellars, the oldest family owned vineyard in Napa.

The entertainment portion of the evening was a surprise for the team, so the folks at Taplin put me up in their cottage which doubled as a greenroom. After a fantastic meal prepared by The French Laundry, I was introduced and performed al fresco overlooking the vineyard.

What a joy to be back!

Is this the end of virtual performances?

Well, only time will tell. But calls are coming in fast-and-furious for in-person events and it's looking good.

That's all for now. Be well.

“My chief task has been to conquer fear. The public sees only the thrill of the accomplished trick; they have no conception of the tortuous preliminary self-training that was necessary to conquer fear.”

— Harry Houdini (March 24, 1874 - October 31, 1926)

This has been tucked away in my notes since September 2018. Dusted it off, made some edits and is now posted here for our edification.

To set the scene, I was performing at my residency last night for about eight people. We were gathered on couches and ottomans around a low, glass table. Throughout the evening, guests drift in and out of the performances, but this one lasted about 30 minutes.

Close-up magic is quite intimate and casual and, if done “right,” the audience and performer really get to know each other.

This particular audience was a gathering of eight friends. I was sitting on the couch next to Mario, who was from El Salvador, and his wife who was from Germany. They lived in Hanover but visit San Francisco every 4 year to see family.

“The Magician is an initiate of secret and hidden knowledge of all kinds.
And this is the important point. All knowledge that takes special training to acquire is the province of the Magician energy.”

— King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette

As often happens after a performance in this particular venue, guests will often ask questions:

“How did you get into magic?”

“Do you have a teacher?”

“Did you go to school for it?”

One woman commented that “you must have been born with it?”

Mario said he could never do anything like what he experienced.

When I asked what he did for a living he replied that he was a chef but “it's nothing like what you do.”

"Yes, it is, Mario. It's exactly like what I do."

Ghabrana Nahi is a web show hosted by Rafea Moshin of Evenement, an Event Management and Solutions Company based in Pakistan.

Honored to be featured on their 20th episode as their first international guest!

Discover what sparked my interest in magic, the challenges faced and surmounted when moving west, and how I’m currently making adjustments to meet this moment.

And of course, there’s a bit of magic as well.

We had a fantastic time and hope you’ll have a look!

One of the first and most memorable gigs I had came soon after we moved to the west coast in 2012.

The venue was a “maker space” in the Mission District of San Francisco. It was my first time in that part of town and had no idea what to expect. As I parked the car and walked around the corner to find the graffiti filled front door, I thought “well, this is another fine mess you’ve gotten yourself into.”

The place was filled with tables, shelves, and workspaces of electronic gear. It looked like the laboratory of a mad scientist except it felt like there was some method to it all.

At the time, I was temping to support my family and rebuild things here in The New Frontier, using skills I developed while studying and working as an actor in New York City. But I was also taking any magic gig I could get my hands on.

This particular evening was a short performance before dessert for a group of about 20 gathered to celebrate a friend who was changing jobs. For years the guest-of-honor had worked as an editor for gay porn films and now he was starting a new gig at a company that made straight porn.

And man, did they roast him. They even had a custom cake made that looked like…er, on second thought.

As it turned out, it was a fun group to entertain and we had a blast. Yeah, I’ve been wrong about these things before.

Anyway, as I stood in the back of the house waiting for an introduction, my eyes drifted around the room taking in the audience, the set up of the performance area, the decor, etc. Eventually I noticed something scrawled on the wall.

If you weren’t standing right next to it you would have missed it. I snapped a picture and it was my cell phone wallpaper for over a year.

Recently, I was having a conversation with a friend. He’s a semi-pro with a solid “day job” who does magic on the side and regularly produces his own one-man show, which has quite a following.

We were on the phone some time in May talking about what we were going to work on while shut down and sheltered-in-place. He had a plan based on the fact that, as things began to open up, people would be interested in hosting smaller, more intimate events and he asked what I thought about his idea.

“Does doing that or anything else you’ve done in magic make you happy?” I asked.

I don’t think it’s about “the marketing plan” at all. That’s a necessary evil to get your work seen. The question that needs to be answered is “does it bring you joy?”

Everything else lines up around that.

Actual size. Almost.

At times, the “problems” in my business or personal life seem so immense. There would be no way to surmount them or even know what steps to take first and move forward.

It’s just me, you see.

I still building the habit of consistently using a to do list to stay organized, balance family/home life and business, and still find ways to stay creative in magic and express oneself. I struggle with it. Something about the chaos of (for lack of a better word) “the artist’s” mind?

It seems logical that when you’re passionate about something you should devour everything you can about it. That might mean reading a lot of magic books, periodicals, and visiting websites. Keeping abreast of the latest new magic product and following people on social media.

But there’s something to be said of leaving the space and looking beyond your tiny world.

Back in NYC, one of my senpai (seniors) once told me that I’d never get good at aikido because I had too many other interests. “You’re into magic, you’re working as an actor, and practicing aikido? You’ll never progress quickly. You have to focus.”

At that precise moment, Sensei joined the conversation and commented, “too much aikido makes a dull person.”

The dojo is where you might “train” yourself but it’s outside of that space where you learn. It’s in the real world where we test the principles and apply them to life. You do your best to see how it all works then come back to the lab, do more research, make course corrections, adjust, and get better at what you do. Then you go and test again.

I also found it laughable that senpai didn’t even consider that any of the other arts or self-imposed courses of study I was interested in didn’t inform and expand on any of the others.

How many artists — painters, musicians, actors, writers, film makers, <fill-in-the-blank> — are solely practicing their art and have nothing else, I wonder?

Right now the competition are all doing the same thing and striving to be first.

What if you were to be the only?